more n more jaded as time passes.
few things perk me up now.
things like my panda collectible n on e hunt for my robots postcards do get me into a frenzy of excitement.but after e excitement fades away.u get back into a numbed n emotionless state.

emotionless is prolly too harsh a word to use.numbed would be better euphemism.

was on e fone w jl last nite n he said i became colder. in an attempt to make up for tt he said tt e warmness is still there but deep haha!like metal w rust on it,juz need to scrape off e rust n u will c e old me.
"as i become more n more friendly, u become more n more withdrawn. where is e shan shan frm jc?"
i dun need myself frm jc cos tt's too far back n i can only look at e jc self wistfully.
as long as i can revert back to last yr shan den ok alr.
mood was better,face was getting better,health was much better,relationships w pple was much much much better.dunno wat to say too.
my vocab is so limited until i can't pin pt my feelings exactly cos i can't find e word to.
i juz m too tired to conceal any negative things.i tink once u r in a slight depression or juz xians,u may get too used to it to come out of it.
wallowing in self pity-is it?i dunno.
i was babbling on n on last nite on e fone w jl saying everything in such a matter of factly tone.
-even when u say u understand,u will nv really fully understand unless u're in dis.tt's y i use selective talking nowadays i tink,no pt trying to explain how i feel when i tink some pple dun understand.no xing ku wo ye xing ku.
ease is e key word now.

sometimes if u haf a simple mind,tt's gd.cos sha3 de2 ke3 ai4 :)

waiting for e return of guess3 tonite!!!!!!!!!!!!finally! :)

tv is my fav chill out partner,as officially declared by ME. haha nuts